A guide for men.
Ah, internet personals. So many women… so few responses. Disappointing, isn’t it? Well, pay attention, because I’m going to tell you how to improve your chances.
For starters, don’t expect the women to come beating down your door. By some estimates, there’s about 8 men to every woman placing personal ads online. And all those women are getting hammered with ad responses from men. Ugh. Now you’re really disappointed, huh? Don’t be. Most of the responses women get are dead boring.
Hi. My name is Bob. I liked your ad. Write me.
And that’s one of the better ones. Something like this is more likely:
hi i m bob i liked u r add right me
You can do better than that, can’t you? Good.
So, what do us women want to hear? The truth. Plain and simple. We want to know enough about you to tell whether or not you’d be someone we want to know better.
We need more than just your vital stats. There’s no way of knowing if we’d like a guy based on his age, height, weight, and hair color. What makes you different from other guys? Describe it. Do you have a great sense of humor? Don’t just say so, show it. Talk about your hobbies, interests, and what makes you tick.
Don’t brag, though. There’s nothing that screams, “I’m overcompensating!” quite like a guy who needs to blow his own horn about his sports car, great job, boat, etc. The only kind of woman you’ll attract with that angle is a golddigger.
If you’re thinking we want romance and wooing… stop. We get so much of that “I like snuggling by the fire, moonlit walks and candlelit dinners” crap that we’re ready to barf. We know it’s just a line, and even if you really do like that sort of thing, there’s plenty of time after we’ve met to show what a sweet guy you are.
Be sure to mention something she talks about in her ad. Let her know you read it and are interested in getting to know HER, not just interested in getting to know ANYONE. No one expects to be the only woman you’re interested in, but at least make her feel like there’s something you find appealing about her, and not that you’re writing to virtually every woman within a 100 mile radius.
And one huge thing to avoid is … SEX. I know you want it. We want it too. But we don’t want to feel like a hunk of meat.We don’t need to know your fetishes, preferences, length, girth and how long you’ll last before we even know your eye color. Really. Unless, of course, you’re on one of the adults only sites that encourage that sort of thing. But if you’re not, and if the woman’s ad doesn’t mention sex and is on a regular dating site… just don’t mention it, ‘kay?